Super Mario Franchise
Insanity Factor: Unknown
Powers: None
Occupation: Princess
Description: And you thought Bowser was the true antagonist of the Super Mario Franchise? He was just a boss, Princess Peach is the true villain behind it all. Originally we were doing this just as a joke, but we analyzed the super Mario franchise deeply and ended up finding that she may be a racist. Think about it, the 1980's were not too long after the Civil Rights movement in America and her Kingdom used to consist of Toads AND Goombas. If the Goombas were her subjects, then why do they serve Bowser? The brown Goombas were prejudiced by the white Toads. We do believe that Peach was just too high at the time to realize of the plight of the Goombas or just did not care because there is no evidence that she actually did anything to curve the racism, which ended up leading to the defection of the Goombas. Due to the defection, Bowser gained a massive army of kamikaze foot soldiers that would walk right off a cliff in his name. She may not be a boss, but she is here because she might be a racist dictator, plus she lives among hippies because everyone is addicted to the shrooms, and no one likes a hippie. Not only she is a hippie, but she is also annoying as hell with her stupid cries for help and speech pattern, that I find annoying. Also in Super Smash Bros. she uses her own subjects as human shields in order to protect herself from say a rocket fired by Snake. She really has no choice in that respect as all her guards scatter and flee at the first sight of danger, but this may be to aid her fetish for being kidnapped. That's right, she lets herself be kidnapped and is the reason you have to jump through 8 different worlds and castles just to rescue her sorry ass. Overall, Peach is a racist, tyrannical dictator who prejudiced her people, has a fetish for being rescued every five seconds and doesn't even have the decency to invite Bowser and her former people, the Goombas, to play Baseball on some fancy island she made for the white people.
Godfather & Dr. Evil
Just for you all to know, this is just a joke, not to be taken seriously
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